The life & times of Brown Sugar...

Man....is it just me or does my damn period pick and choose to come when it wants to? I mean, there's nothing like a muhfucka who just barges in...unexpectedly and decides to stay a few days...without warning. Especially when the few days include a weekend when your beloved son, who's been working your nerves something serious, is away with the babysitter. Did I mention the ENTIRE weekend? Yeah well...damn. Don't get me wrong. A sistah is glad that The Lady in Red....Aunt Dot...or whatever other pseudo names we women have come up with to refer to our damn period. There have been many of days and nights when I've been eagerly awaiting that bitch. Only to have thoughts of rolling down the stairs or getting accidentally hit with a golf club in my stomach should "she" not arrive. Those were the days prior to the conception of my son. Come to think of it.....there were a few signs that "she" was on her way. I know I said that I didn't have any warnings. But....One, I was irritable as hell early in the week. Two, everything and everybody was getting on my damn nerves. Three, I didn't feel like being bothered. Four, I was horny as hell!!! Wait a minute. All that shit is normal. I guess there weren't any signs. Here I am, on a Saturday night....cramping, head aching and bitchy for no reason. I should have seen it coming. For some reason, I haven't been keeping an accurate PERIOD calendar. I was thinking that my shit was coming at the end of the month. But...the more I think about it. I should be happy because next week is Howard's homecoming. And me...being the person that I am - on the prowl for former, unmarried/married (i don't give a fuck) booty call partners at every HU homecoming that I attend - should be rejoicing that I don't have to worry about what outfit I'm going to wear that doesn't show this big ass Always pad I'm wearing. LOL Some of you might be saying, "Wear a damn tampon." I would...but I'm always scared I'm going to get TSS *toxic shock syndrome* or some shit. Whew! Come to think of it, my girl looked out for me by barging on in here! We were on the same wavelength. Me, her and my pusseta. hee hee Yeah...she knows me very well. She was looking out for my best interests. Actually, the timing wasn't all that bad. I've been phone boning this cat that I went to HU with but never had the opportunity to actually have "intimate contact" with. Other than that one night we laid in the bed together but for some reason, didn't do nothing. No sugar, no nothing. Damn...what was up with that shit? *note: go back in time and reflect on that night. what the fuck were we thinking?!? Anyway! He was contemplating coming to visit me this weekend. Well...as luck should have it, he had something to do and well.... my Aunt Dot decided to pay me a visit. So, was all that phone boning done in vain? Naah...you best believe, all that shit will come to a head....and bust....eventually. Ooooh! I'm getting excited just thinking about it. Yeah right! Who am I kidding?!? I'm not getting excited about shit right now. Other than grabbing my heating pad and laying down on the couch and watching MTV Jams and VH1 Soul. I'm addicted to videos ya'll. The way some chics are addicted to Oprah and Lifetime, I'm addicted to watching videos. Occassionaly...well, I can't lie, most of the time, I get up and do the dance routines along with the video. Even if they don't have dance routines, I'll make up my own. ha ha ha I love videos. I'm actually an aspiring Video Producer. Will it ever happen? Hmm....that's another topic of discussion. Anywho....I guess I'll get my damn panties out of the bunch they're in and look forward to my damn Aunt Dot to vacate the premises!