Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Sinister Minister pt. 2 (more venting...)
Dear Blog, it's me...Brown Sugar:
(do ya'll remember "Dear God, it's me Margaret?" I must...I must...I must increase my bust! Do movements and all. hee hee That was one of my all time favorite child/teen books! Ahh...the days of the more simpler life)
Oh! Did I fail to mention that in addition to the other concerns I had, we had only known and been dating each other for less than 3 months???? Yeah. *silence*
Why me Lord??? Why is this happening to me? I don't even know this man enough to even consider sharing a child with. ARGH! Ok...ok...it's going to be ok. How did I get to this place in life? I fell victim to the "OooWee Stage."
OooWee Stage (n) A point in a relationship, usually the first three of four months, when everything your newfound love says or does leaves you feeling all mushy, lovey dovey, etc. Basically, everything is all good. No arguements, no drama.... One also tends to overlook RED FLAGS that may appear.
Anyway, we talked and talked and talked. After much trepidation, we both decided to have this baby. Well, to be honest with you, I had already made up my mind to have the baby regardless of what he wanted. I was more concerned about my physical, mental and emotional well-being.
He began to insist that we get married. I wasn't ready. I mean...I WAS NOT ready for any of this. But I damn sure wasn't ready to marry this man I've known all of three months. You might say, well damn...how the heck can you have his baby then? Well remember, he's in school getting his Masters in Theology. He's going to school to be a minister. He wants to have his own church. Anyway, he kept pressing me and pressing me about getting married. He just wanted to go to the Justice of Peace. He was more concerned about what his peers and family would say. Hell...I didn't give a flyin' fuck. I talked it over with my mama and she confirmed my feelings. "Baby, you don't have to get married to him just 'cause you're pregnant." I felt even more relieved after she told me that. My father really wasn't saying much at this time. Don't worry. He had more than a mouth full to say later in this on-going saga. Well sinister minister was upset with me because he felt I wasn't considering his feelings or career plans. I'm thinking, "What the heck are you talking about? I'm the only one who is working a full time job?!? Plus...I ain't the only muhfucka that laid down and made this baby!" (mistake#1....never get with anybody who doesn't have anything to offer) Anyway, the end of the school year came and he was making plans to leave town for an UNPAID internship in New Orleans for the summer. Mind you, he had options to remain here and find his ass a job so that he could save some money. But...that was too much like right. Anyway, he left in May and was gone the ENTIRE summer. Throughout the summer we eventually made plans to get married the following year. We set a date and everything. I called my close girlfriends and the wedding plans were on. We all got fitted for our dresses and everything. This was June 2002. July 2002 he told me via a phone conversation that he wanted to postpone our wedding. Ok...whatever. I had gotten all hyped and shit at this point about the wedding. Needless to say, I was pissed. However, I knew...even at that point that the wedding would never be. Unbeknown to me at the time, it was a blessing in disguise.
Shortly there after, things started going downhill for us. There was this girl who was "just his friend" in the beginning of our relationship. (RED FLAG #1) Hold on....Let me back up to that point. I came across a letter that he wrote to this girl who was just a friend. He was telling her " how much appreciated what she did for him. ANd even though he hadn't met her he still loved her." blah, blah, blah. I confronted him about the letter. He denied everything. He even showed me a picture of her to justify why he didn't like her. Basically....he called her a boogabear. He claimed that they were just friends. Me....believing in him and apparently dumb as hell, took his word for it. Well come to find out, this "friend" really liked him and was upset about him getting me pregnant and blah, blah, blah. He claimed he realized that he couldn't be friends with women that he ministers to and knows likes him. There were other women that I'm not even going to waste my time going into. So he said they stopped talking in May 2002. Ok....here it is August 2002. He mentioned on the sly that he and this "friend" had been having Bible Study via the phone. WHAT.EVER. Ya'll know I wasn't buying that shit. I'm not even going to get into how I went off. Ain't nothing like a mofo who leans on the Bible to get women. That's a whole 'notha story. Anyway, he came back to Atlanta mid August. Shit wasn't the same from the time he got here. We beefed about any and everything. A few weeks after he got back, he told me that his "friend's mother" offered to give him a car. (he had been having trouble with his truck). WTF?!? I threw all kinds of questions at that ass. "Why is her mother offering to give you a car??? What the fuck is up with you and this girl? Is there something you're not telling me? There has to be something more to this relationship that you're not telling me." He had the audacity to get mad at me and tell me that he couldn't believe that I just couldn't see the blessing in all this. I wanted to scream. As a matter of fact, I did scream. I screamed and yelled. I was ready to fight. You know my damn hormones were raging. I was six months pregnant at this point. I needed to calm down. A couple of days later, don't you know this mofo drove down to Florida to pick up that damn car?!? Oh yeah....his "friend" lived in Florida. Anyway, he picked up that car. I told that mofo that I would NEVER get inside that car. I told him that if I went into labor in the middle of the night and he had to come get me, I would NOT get in that car. I'd take a taxi.
Oh...I was pissed. Let me just fast forward a bit. I'm going to skip past all the other mess I went through with the sinister minister. November 20 my OB/GYN admitted me to the hospital. She wanted to induce my labor 'cause my baby boy was showing to be a biggun' already. I wasn't due until December 12. My OB/GYN was concerned that he was going to be too big. Anyway, after going through 18 hours of labor, I gave birth to my son on November 21 at 6:36pm. I had a beautiful baby boy. It was one of the BEST and most REWARDING days of my life. The sinister minister was there as well. Everything seemed perfect. Notice I said, "seemed." This mofo was all cryin and shit. Happy tears, I presume. hee hee Anyway, he stayed overnight with me my second night at the hospital. AT 3AM his phone started ringing. He's a hard sleeper. He didn't hear it ring. I heard the muhfucka though. I looked to see who it was. I'm nosey as hell. hee hee Anyway, I recognized the number. It was the "friend". Don't ask me how I knew. Just know that I knew it was her ass. I got a hold of her number early in the game. I just never called her. She called back three times. Finally, I woke him up and questioned him about their relationship. He swore up and down that wasn't shit up with them. He even asked, "Do you want me to call her and you speak to her?" Well he must have thought I was going to say no. Shiii. That was an opportune moment for me. I had to seize the moment! I said, "Call her ass!" So he called her back and I got on the phone. I said, "______, what is the status of you and _____'s relationship? I mean, do you not know that _____ and I just had a baby?" This bitch proceeded to tell me, "If there wasn't anything between ____ and I, I wouldn't be calling at this time of night. Besides, he told me that you were a ONE NIGHT STAND!" WTF???? OMG!!!! I was floored! I mean....I couldn't believe what I was hearing? So I repeated what she said. "A one night stand?!? I know he didn't tell you that." Mind you, he was standing right there and didn't say shit. I'm looking at this muhfucka like, "Did you really say this?!?" He didn't say NOTHING! I gave him back the phone and kicked his ass out of my room. Man...I cried and cried and cried. I felt humiliated. This was supposed to be one of the happiest times and I felt like my heart had been completely ripped out of my chest. I've been hurt before but damn....this took the cake. Folks say that "Baby Blues" is a muhfucka. Shiii....what I was feeling didn't have anything to do with baby blues.
(do ya'll remember "Dear God, it's me Margaret?" I must...I must...I must increase my bust! Do movements and all. hee hee That was one of my all time favorite child/teen books! Ahh...the days of the more simpler life)
Oh! Did I fail to mention that in addition to the other concerns I had, we had only known and been dating each other for less than 3 months???? Yeah. *silence*
Why me Lord??? Why is this happening to me? I don't even know this man enough to even consider sharing a child with. ARGH! Ok...ok...it's going to be ok. How did I get to this place in life? I fell victim to the "OooWee Stage."
OooWee Stage (n) A point in a relationship, usually the first three of four months, when everything your newfound love says or does leaves you feeling all mushy, lovey dovey, etc. Basically, everything is all good. No arguements, no drama.... One also tends to overlook RED FLAGS that may appear.
Anyway, we talked and talked and talked. After much trepidation, we both decided to have this baby. Well, to be honest with you, I had already made up my mind to have the baby regardless of what he wanted. I was more concerned about my physical, mental and emotional well-being.
He began to insist that we get married. I wasn't ready. I mean...I WAS NOT ready for any of this. But I damn sure wasn't ready to marry this man I've known all of three months. You might say, well damn...how the heck can you have his baby then? Well remember, he's in school getting his Masters in Theology. He's going to school to be a minister. He wants to have his own church. Anyway, he kept pressing me and pressing me about getting married. He just wanted to go to the Justice of Peace. He was more concerned about what his peers and family would say. Hell...I didn't give a flyin' fuck. I talked it over with my mama and she confirmed my feelings. "Baby, you don't have to get married to him just 'cause you're pregnant." I felt even more relieved after she told me that. My father really wasn't saying much at this time. Don't worry. He had more than a mouth full to say later in this on-going saga. Well sinister minister was upset with me because he felt I wasn't considering his feelings or career plans. I'm thinking, "What the heck are you talking about? I'm the only one who is working a full time job?!? Plus...I ain't the only muhfucka that laid down and made this baby!" (mistake#1....never get with anybody who doesn't have anything to offer) Anyway, the end of the school year came and he was making plans to leave town for an UNPAID internship in New Orleans for the summer. Mind you, he had options to remain here and find his ass a job so that he could save some money. But...that was too much like right. Anyway, he left in May and was gone the ENTIRE summer. Throughout the summer we eventually made plans to get married the following year. We set a date and everything. I called my close girlfriends and the wedding plans were on. We all got fitted for our dresses and everything. This was June 2002. July 2002 he told me via a phone conversation that he wanted to postpone our wedding. Ok...whatever. I had gotten all hyped and shit at this point about the wedding. Needless to say, I was pissed. However, I knew...even at that point that the wedding would never be. Unbeknown to me at the time, it was a blessing in disguise.
Shortly there after, things started going downhill for us. There was this girl who was "just his friend" in the beginning of our relationship. (RED FLAG #1) Hold on....Let me back up to that point. I came across a letter that he wrote to this girl who was just a friend. He was telling her " how much appreciated what she did for him. ANd even though he hadn't met her he still loved her." blah, blah, blah. I confronted him about the letter. He denied everything. He even showed me a picture of her to justify why he didn't like her. Basically....he called her a boogabear. He claimed that they were just friends. Me....believing in him and apparently dumb as hell, took his word for it. Well come to find out, this "friend" really liked him and was upset about him getting me pregnant and blah, blah, blah. He claimed he realized that he couldn't be friends with women that he ministers to and knows likes him. There were other women that I'm not even going to waste my time going into. So he said they stopped talking in May 2002. Ok....here it is August 2002. He mentioned on the sly that he and this "friend" had been having Bible Study via the phone. WHAT.EVER. Ya'll know I wasn't buying that shit. I'm not even going to get into how I went off. Ain't nothing like a mofo who leans on the Bible to get women. That's a whole 'notha story. Anyway, he came back to Atlanta mid August. Shit wasn't the same from the time he got here. We beefed about any and everything. A few weeks after he got back, he told me that his "friend's mother" offered to give him a car. (he had been having trouble with his truck). WTF?!? I threw all kinds of questions at that ass. "Why is her mother offering to give you a car??? What the fuck is up with you and this girl? Is there something you're not telling me? There has to be something more to this relationship that you're not telling me." He had the audacity to get mad at me and tell me that he couldn't believe that I just couldn't see the blessing in all this. I wanted to scream. As a matter of fact, I did scream. I screamed and yelled. I was ready to fight. You know my damn hormones were raging. I was six months pregnant at this point. I needed to calm down. A couple of days later, don't you know this mofo drove down to Florida to pick up that damn car?!? Oh yeah....his "friend" lived in Florida. Anyway, he picked up that car. I told that mofo that I would NEVER get inside that car. I told him that if I went into labor in the middle of the night and he had to come get me, I would NOT get in that car. I'd take a taxi.
Oh...I was pissed. Let me just fast forward a bit. I'm going to skip past all the other mess I went through with the sinister minister. November 20 my OB/GYN admitted me to the hospital. She wanted to induce my labor 'cause my baby boy was showing to be a biggun' already. I wasn't due until December 12. My OB/GYN was concerned that he was going to be too big. Anyway, after going through 18 hours of labor, I gave birth to my son on November 21 at 6:36pm. I had a beautiful baby boy. It was one of the BEST and most REWARDING days of my life. The sinister minister was there as well. Everything seemed perfect. Notice I said, "seemed." This mofo was all cryin and shit. Happy tears, I presume. hee hee Anyway, he stayed overnight with me my second night at the hospital. AT 3AM his phone started ringing. He's a hard sleeper. He didn't hear it ring. I heard the muhfucka though. I looked to see who it was. I'm nosey as hell. hee hee Anyway, I recognized the number. It was the "friend". Don't ask me how I knew. Just know that I knew it was her ass. I got a hold of her number early in the game. I just never called her. She called back three times. Finally, I woke him up and questioned him about their relationship. He swore up and down that wasn't shit up with them. He even asked, "Do you want me to call her and you speak to her?" Well he must have thought I was going to say no. Shiii. That was an opportune moment for me. I had to seize the moment! I said, "Call her ass!" So he called her back and I got on the phone. I said, "______, what is the status of you and _____'s relationship? I mean, do you not know that _____ and I just had a baby?" This bitch proceeded to tell me, "If there wasn't anything between ____ and I, I wouldn't be calling at this time of night. Besides, he told me that you were a ONE NIGHT STAND!" WTF???? OMG!!!! I was floored! I mean....I couldn't believe what I was hearing? So I repeated what she said. "A one night stand?!? I know he didn't tell you that." Mind you, he was standing right there and didn't say shit. I'm looking at this muhfucka like, "Did you really say this?!?" He didn't say NOTHING! I gave him back the phone and kicked his ass out of my room. Man...I cried and cried and cried. I felt humiliated. This was supposed to be one of the happiest times and I felt like my heart had been completely ripped out of my chest. I've been hurt before but damn....this took the cake. Folks say that "Baby Blues" is a muhfucka. Shiii....what I was feeling didn't have anything to do with baby blues.
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I don't like him or her. She knew you were having a baby
Note to self, don't ever get ugly with another woman over some trifling a.. man.
Note to self, don't ever get ugly with another woman over some trifling a.. man.
Oh...I'm not even done with my story yet. I'm going to sum it all up in part three...the final chapter. *smh* Stay tuned...
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