Monday, November 01, 2004
Unspoken thoughts...
Ok....I mentioned to ya'll previously that I had been phone boning this guy. I mean, I hate to just say phone boning because we actually have a lot of good non-sexual conversations. It's not like we sit on the phone talking about sex. Really, to be honest with you, we've never talked about us having sex with each other, per se. It's been more of a 'round about talk of sex type of thing. Basically, it's not like he sits on the phone talking about how he's going to beat it up and what he's going to do to me when he sees me or vice versa. It's more of an "unspoken phone boning." LOL Well for those of you who are just tuning in, I spoke of him in my entry entitled, Period Woes..... Well, he paid me a visit this past weekend. Considering this was Howard's homecoming weekend and I was going to miss it after all, I had to entertain myself other ways. Let me just say that....it was worth missing homecoming for. At least it was to me. I'm not going to get into every hand on booty detail about his visit. But I will tell you that I can't stop thinking about him and he left this morning headed back home. I met him when we were 18 years old. I liked him. He liked me. A lot of flirting going on. Blah, blah, blah.... One night we laid in my bed. Nothing happened. That was then....this is now. I'm not even going to front. I thought his visit was going to be something similar to that. But it wasn't. The difference now is that we're grown folks. lol Now...don't think that just because he put it down, that's the only reason why I can't stop thinking about him. I put the punanny (say like Dave Chappelle) on him as best I could at the time. hee hee Hopefully, I'm on his mind as well. Anyway.... I thought about him a lot prior to his visit. We may or may not talk every day at some point. No big deal if we don't. But you know...we do a pretty good job at keeping in touch with one another. We're not on some boyfriend/girlfriend type shit. We're just friends. It's all good. Although I'd be frontin if I said that I wasn't diggin him. It's kind of wierd though. I used to really dig him back in the day. Then we lost touch. Through an unfortunate event, we were reunited, if you want to call it that. We hadn't seen each other since 1994 or so. Here it is, 2004. Yeah...it's been a minute. When I saw him, I immediately felt all giddy inside. I almost felt like I saw a long lost....love but in this case, it wasn't love. But hell, you know what I'm talking about. Considering the circumstances of our meeting, I didn't show any of that. I just hugged him and kept my inner most desires to myself. In a conversation we had on a later date, I jokingly said to him that we're destined to be together. But was I really joking??? A thought to ponder on.... Anyway, he still looks the same. I'm sure I still look the same except for some extra baby fat pounds that I can't seem to get rid of. I still look good though! Don't get it twisted. hee hee Plus it ain't nothing that my Winsar Pilates 20 minute work out everyday and a good diet can't fix. LOL Throw in a few GOOD SWEATY SEX sessions and I'm well on my way. Anyway! Where was I??? Oh....ok. I really like this guy. I mean, I'm not in love with him. It's not that serious.....yet. Notice I said yet. ha ha ha Anyway, I HATE but LOVE this feeling that I'm feeling. I hate it because I don't know what to expect. I don't know how I feel. I don't know how he feels. I don't know what I want. I don't know what he wants. I hate not being able to explain what I'm feeling. I wish I could talk to him about it but I don't want him to think that I'm trying to rush into a relationship or anything like that. I'm not that pressed. I've learned from my previous relationship that you can't rush love. But I don't NOT want to say anything and have him thinking that I just want a cut buddy. I love it simply because I like the feeling of actually liking somebody. I love that giddy feeling. That "ooowee, i can't stop thinking about this person for some reason" feeling. That "i can't wait to get to school each day to see him or her" feeling. You know what I'm talking about. I'm such a damn sap. We'll see how this shall pan itself out. Time out: I'm sitting here watching videos (as usual) Destiny Child's video "Can you keep up?" just came on. Why does Beyonce and Kelly have complete verses in the song and Michelle only sings like two lines? Look at them....they are jamming though. But anyway, what's up with that? Why can't Michelle sing more than two lines? Why don't they show Michelle more in the video? It's a conspiracy I say. A conspiracy! C-O-N. Spiracy. Ooooh dang. Look at Jon B. He still looks the same....just like a light skinned black boy wit good hair. lol Gone Jon B. He got a little more bass in his voice too. I think. I'm going to have to break out my old Jon B cd. Ok...time in! Anyway, what is a girl to do??? All this might come to past by the time I go back to work tomorrow. I've been sitting around the house all day. Too much damn time to sit around and daydream about shit. And I'm a Pisces too. We're the pros when it comes to daydreaming. Anyway, let me get my ass off this computer. I've let a whole damn day go by and I haven't done anything. But isn't that the beauty of being off work? No structured activities that involve anything besides sitting on your ass. Besides, I've been typing this entry off and on for about an hour or so. I keep getting up to dance when a video comes on that I like. ha hahaha Picture that!
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Shuga,
The feelings you are having aren't unspoken because he knows about your blog. What you have just done is used this medium to tlel him how you feel. We in the blog world call that e-courage.
And that feeling you have...I know it well.
The feelings you are having aren't unspoken because he knows about your blog. What you have just done is used this medium to tlel him how you feel. We in the blog world call that e-courage.
And that feeling you have...I know it well.
Although he knows about my blog, he doesn't read it. I haven't sent him the link to it yet. But...I did let him read my Period Woes and Bathroom Monitor entries while he was here. I pulled the page up for him. However, I haven't decided if I'm going to send him the link to my page or not. I have to agree with you about the E-courage. hee hee I have plenty of that. Let's see if I have enough to actually send him the link to that particular entry. (smile)
Edwige...I'm not sure about his reciprocity. I'll tell you this though. I did email him personally and kind of skirted the issue of my feelings. He hasn't read this particular blog entry as of yet. He probably won't unless I send it to him directly or he comes upon it by happenstance.
Oh...I forgot answer the gimlet question. Nope. Haven't tried it yet. We didn't go out this past weekend. As soon as I hit the club I'll make a beeline to the bar. "Uhhh bartender, gimme a gimlet!"
That is my damn song!!! And I must agree with you on the CON-spiracy, Beyonce and Kelly do most of the singing cuz Michelle sounds like a sleepy FLY!! I think you and ol boy have a connection that won't be severed by you breaking him off a small piece :-) First and foremost u 2 are friends, so just know enjoy the feelings you are experiencing and stop tryin to read into stuff. No matter what transpired he is still yo boy.
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