The life & times of Brown Sugar...

***First off, let me apologize for my delay in posting. I have been sicker than a dog for the past week. And just a few days ago, I lost my damn voice. I sound like a damn hoarse bullfrog. I know I don’t need my voice to type…but damn! A sistah was feeling real bad. So bad, that I didn’t feel like sitting down at my computer to type ish! Now you know I was feeling bad because I’m the email/internet QUEEN! Secondly, wouldn’t you know it? I actually did complete this entry a few minutes ago. I tried to publish post and the muhfugga is currently lost in friggin cyber space! I’m pissed!! So here we go again!


I don't even know how long Bird and Cutiepie had been gone before I actually spoke to either one of them. Well, better yet, until I spoke to Bird. Remember....Cutiepie and I weren't really on the best of terms anymore. That time period is such a blur to me right now. However, I do believe that by the time I spoke to Bird again, she and Cutiepie had broken up. Bird and I started talking on a regular again. Bird advised me that she and Cutiepie were constantly bickering. She said they never saw eye to eye on anything. They even had a few physical altercations here and there. What is it about same sex relationships? Why are they so volatile? I couldn’t even tell you because I have never been in a same sex relationship. Unless threesomes count. ROFLMAO!!!! Woo! That girl is CRAZY as HELL!!! Anywho…
Bird is on the prowl for another chickadee. While visiting some friends in NYC for Black Gay Pride weekend (is there really such a thing?), she went to this club. While Bird is not openly “gay” she has no problem being present at said venues. If you ran into her on the street, you’d think she was a typical pretty black woman that loves men. Actually, I don’t know if she’d be classified as “gay”. I mean she likes men too. I guess that would make her gay-esque, huh? LOL Ok….Bird is chillin’ in the club and becomes mesmerized by a sexxy hot temptress. She’s not sure if she’s really fascinated or if it’s the “Vitamin E” she’s high on that has her feeling that way. Bird and said chic somehow start talking, dancing, touching….and I’ll be damned, kissing! I wasn’t there but boy….I would have LOVED to be a fly on the wall to see all this transpire. For one, I would have probably fallen off the wall and been stepped on by another drug induced partygoer. SPLAT! (sound of me, the fly, being stepped on.) Man! I don’t know why Bird was feeling so frisky. Grant it, it could be attributed to the Brazilian wax she had earlier that day. I don’t know. I mean, a good ole Brazilian wax always leaves me feeling a tad bit frisky myself. That is, after I’ve gotten over the pain and desire to slap that lady upside her head. But this ain’t about me. Wait a minute. I’m supposed to be telling you how I’m caught up in the crossfire. Right? I’ve somehow veered off path and went quasi-Black Erotica on that ass. My name ain’t Zane. LOL Although, I could probably tell you some “Sex Chronicles.”
You’re probably wondering how I know so much about Bird. Well one, she tells me everything. What she doesn’t tell me I INSIST she tells me. Especially when it pertains to sex or anything leading to sex. I must know every hand on booty detail. I can’t help it. I have to live vicariously through her.
Bird and the chic from the club hooked up a few times after that night. Eventually, Bird got tired of her and chewed her up only to spit her out. Patooey! She became bored with her. Besides, she only liked her because she had big titties like Cutiepie. Speaking of Cutiepie….Bird and Cutiepie got back on speaking terms. Bird asked me if she should get back with her. I told her to go for it. So, after a short-lived relationship, Bird and Cutiepie went there separate ways….yet again. But not before Bird gave me every hand on booty detail. LMAO
So…Bird hooked up with this guy that had been in pursuit of her. He was a cool cat. We all went to school together. I wouldn’t exactly picture him with Bird, but hey. Bird eventually bit the worm. They eventually went out, she f*cked him, chewed him up and spit him out to be chewed by another birdie. Typical Bird thing to do. Well, Bird decided to move back down here. Yay! I was excited. I was looking forward to her return. It was going to be just like old times! Once she got here we were inseparable aside from work and other miscellaneous things we did on a day to day basis. It was cool. Plus, Bird loves to drag me out to places she can’t get any of her other girlfriends to go to….i.e. Strip clubs, gay clubs. I don’t care. As long as I can get my drink on and be slightly inebriated by the end of the night, I’m good. She was on the prowl (as usual) for another chickadee. She met a few girls online and made arrangements to meet them in person. Out of the three, I actually met two of them. Boy…what is it about meeting folks online? They lie! Oooh they lie! These girls…well. Let’s just say, they were no eye candy. They didn’t look NOTHING like their pics. LOL I don’t date women but I’ll tell you this. I damn sho wouldn’t have dated either of them if I did. After getting past all the niceties I quickly exited stage left and waited for things to simmer down. Damn…I’m doing it again. Veering off path. Hell, I’m not veering off path. I really never got into my purpose of writing this entry. I’m getting there. I’m getting there. Bear with me! This sh*t is interesting though, huh? Ok…so let’s fast forward a year or more. Bird calls me one day this past August while I’m out of town and said, “Me and Cutiepie have been talking again.” Ok…my mouth is slightly ajar and I have to admit, I had a slight “tude.” Why? Because I’m kind of tired of the whole Bird and Cutiepie thing. For one, they continue to go back and forth knowing they have all of these unresolved issues. You know how it is when your friend is dating somebody and they always tell you the bad things about their significant other? Well…yeah. That’s how it is. Anywho, it just so happened that Cutiepie also moved back down here a year before Bird even got here. They hadn’t spoken so they didn’t know each other were here. Bird apparently thought they were destined to be together. WTF-ever! As you already know, they ended up getting back together. Back to where it all started! And the story goes on…