Tuesday, February 08, 2005

 

Chewbaca & I

The other day, I read an entry that discussed cunnilingus. It was actually a post that Edwige recommended I read. I actually would love to shout out the person who wrote it but hell...I can't remember exactly who it was. Actually, now that I think about it, I believe it was from One Angry Black Girl's page. I don't know the link off hand. I'd love to hyperlink it but that would involve me going to somebody else's page and then somebody else's page. And well...I don't feel like doing that right now. All I know is that it triggered some thangs in my mind. Ofcourse, I had to put it on the back burner because I was caught in the muhfuggin crossfire. Ya dig? Aight....peep this.

I met this guy one day while working. I saw him checking me out but ofcourse, I paid him no mind. I see guys checking me out all the time. Most of the time, they do just that. Check me out. Then...nothing. So, I figured this was going to be the same. Anywho, he was checking me out and then somehow we started chit chatting. Nothing big. You know...the usual niceties. Well that was that. He went on 'bout his way and I went on 'bout my way. Ya dig?
We came across each other again. This time after all the niceties we exchanged numbers. Well, I let him take me out a few times. Over the course of one of our many dinner dates, the topic of oral sex came up. This guy spoke of how good he can eat coochie and shit. Well...me being "one who enjoys receiving good head" was a bit intrigued by this man's comment...and confidence. Ok...let me back up a taste. Let me give you a little background on Brown Sugar. One, at that point in time, I had YET to receive some FIRE as head. Period. Man or woman. Yeah, yeah, yeah...I had to throw the woman part in there for ya'll freaks. Geesh!! Anywho..where was I? Ok. Yeah...I had heard my girls talk about how many times they came when they have their cooch licked on. I'd always think to myself..."Damn...something must be wrong with me and my cooch OR I just haven't met the right one baybay!" I began to think that I just wasn't an "orgasmic" person. Well all that came to pass and well...is another story. Back to what I was saying. Here I was, sitting here with this guy who basically said he would make me cum in a matter of seconds. I was like Lil Jon (even back then) OK!!!!
One night I decided to take him up on his offer. After dinner, I invited him in. Well....one thing led to another. Do I need to give hand on booty details ya'll? Ok...ok. Well, I needed a glass of wine to calm me down AND get me going (if you know what I mean). The next thing I knew, this mug was on me like a barracuda on goldfish eggs. I was trying to fight two of what seemed to be his eight arms. Damn! Talk about hasty! I should have known then. You know what? I don't even feel like giving ya'll HOB (hand on booty) details. Well, come to think of it, there aren't many HOB details to give. Plus, I'm about to take my ass to bed. Although, you know I like to paint visual pictures in your mind. Ima just try to sum it up. Finally, I let him eat my coochie. *pause* When I tell you that this guy was by far THE worse coochie licker.....I am not lying! I think HE'S the reason they created the term "eatting pussy." This cat ATE the shit out of my coochie. I mean...he ate my coochie like he was chewing steak. (hence my nickname for him -Chewbaca) I mean, this brutha was going to town on my shit....and not in good way. You'd think he had a damn baked potato to go along with my shit. It was horrible!!! ARGH!! I am so serious. I don't know about you...(both men & women can identify w/this, i'm sure). When somebody is giving me TERRIBLE "head" I get pissed. Especially if you hype yourself up. I just had to stop him midway. Peep this. He thought I was stopping him because it was sooo good. *silence*mosquitos...crickets chirping*blank stare* He had the nerve to want me to suck his thang. Naw dog...I already peeped your uncircumcised weenie. Uh uh. It's something about uncircumcised dicks. I just can't bring myself to put my mouth on it. Muhahahahaha! I ain't gone front. I made my way down to visit his "peterman" but I ventured on back up north before my mouth met his weenie! He smelled kind of...eh...I don't know. Pissy? That's the problem I have with uncircumcised dicks. I heard - now this is what I heard now - I heard that some guys with uncircumcised dicks don't always clean that thang as good as they should. You know...with all the extra skin and all. I guess they tend to miss a flap...or two. Now don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against uncircumcised dicks. That is, unless you don't properly take care of it. I mean, you don't want to get with a chick who has a funky monkey, do you? Oh...I forgot to mention, Chewbaca got butt booty ass naked before any article of clothing was taken off me. That's how and when I peeped the beenie weenie. But I thought I'd make like I was actually going to attempt to return the favor and shit. Hence...my venture down south. When in all actuality, I had NO INTENTIONS! Where the hell do I meet these guys?
As you pretty much figured, his visit as well as our dinner dates, was short-lived. I knew that night that nothing could possibly transpire between me and CHEWBACA!!!! *echo*echo*echo* (RRRRRROAR! sound Chewbaca makes on Star Wars)

Comments:
"Where the hell do I meet these guys?"

I wanted to put the same question in the air...I'll keep you posted
 
Past experiences dudes that brag on what they can do and how they can do it is a let down. Those dudes that dont say shit about what they can do and how will tear into your ass.
 
Who in the heck told him he can eat some coochie anyway. You should have told him the truth so he can stop being embarrased
 
The problem is that all the women befor eyou did the same thing--stopped him. So he allowed himself to believe it was because theyjust could take no more. white this man a unsigned letter.

Dear Chew E.

You stink of piss and you chew cooch! Chewing is not good!

Sincerely,
A Victim of Pissy Chewage
 
Uhhhh.... Ed?? I'm gonna have to be the anomaly in your statement... fa real.

Shuga, we talked about this. Chewage is not good, but sometime a lil enamel is... heh heh.... figure that shit out! LOL
 
I'm ROTFLMAO @ Kajuana's letter to Chewbaca. Yeah, I should have wrote his ass letter. Lucky for me, I didn't deal with him anymore. Come to think of it, I haven't seen him since.
@ Ed - Girl...some guys believe that stop means go. LOL U - Stop! Stop! Oh please stop! Them - Ahh buddy. I must be really hittin her spot. LOL
@Ted - Now you see why the thought of teeth kind of scares Brown Sugar. hee hee Although, I'm still trying to figure that one out. LOL
 
I agree with the earlier comment. Probably some women who were just happy to get some head told him how great he was and faked a couple orgasms and now he thinks he's the shit. Nasty, just plain nasty. LOL
 
That was a great description. I sit here and feel your pain.

Men like that should give up their tongues.
 
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