The life & times of Brown Sugar...

***WARNING!!!***
If you are one that is sensitive to HOB© details. Don't read this shit. If you are offended after reading, I don't want to hear how offended you are. I warned your monkey ass from jumpstart. Besides, as I stated on my opening page, I'm liable to talk about anything. Secondly, don't mistake anything that I say for me not being a lady. You can kiss my ass if you think otherwise.
Thanking you in advance.


Well...
After we (we being bloggers) said our goodbyes, I was homeward bound. For the night was not over for me. It was only the beginning. I was NOT prepared for what the night had in store. Let me just say this in advance: Ladies, specifically future brides, when your groom- to -be says he is having a bachelor party.....you better be concerned. I repeat, YOU.BETTER.BE.CONCERNED. Not so much about what he's going to be doing - but the POTENTIAL of what could, can or WILL happen.

Let me back up a bit....

My soon to be married friend/former cut buddy from years past, called me up earlier last week and asked if he could have his bachelor party at my spot. Ofcourse, Brown Sugar wouldn't be Brown Sugar if she said no. Right? LOL at me speaking in third person and shit. LOL Anyway, he briefly told me that his boys had previously made arrangements to get a hotel room, but then he thought about me. Hmmm.....wondering what prompted him to think about me? LOL So he called me up and asked me if I'd mind hosting his "party." Cool...whatever. He said that he met these girls in a local mall here who said they were strippers at Strokers. Well...*raised eyebrow* he asked them if they would be down to dance/strip at his bachelor party. He said they agreed and exchanged numbers. Well, you know me, I was like, "Strokers? Ok...cool." *thinking about all that I would soon be privy to witness first-hand*

At any rate, my soon to be married friend/former cut buddy from years past, started hitting me up via my cell phone while I was socializing with my blog buddies. I missed his first few calls. He was calling to let me know that they had just left the wedding rehearsal/dinner and was headed to my spot. Damn! Already? Luckily, we were wrapping it up pretty early so I wouldn't feel like I missed out on anything. LOL Is it just me or does it seem like when you've been drinking, you don't realize how much you've been drinking until you stand up and start walking? LOL No matter how many plates of fries you shared with friends! LMAO! As I drove home, I made several phone calls. I even called MyNotMan (Kajuana 2004) who is 2 1/2 hours hours. Is it just me or does it seem like when you're drunk you call every damn body? Anyway, if my memory serves me correctly, he wasn't talking about shit. So our conversation was short & sweet. More like short and BLAH. Memo to self: Why...oh why do you continue to entertain yourself with this cat who you hardly ever see anymore? I REALLY need to get out and meet more men. Seriously. But that's neither here nor there. You want to hear some HOB© details. Right? Riiiight!

Moments after I arrived home the groom to be and his friend pulled up. Soon there after, a few more fellas arrived and so on and so on. The groom's cousin, who's a female, showed up too. She's mad cool and didn't mind being surrounded by a few good men and some stripper bitches. LOL *slapping knee* I am terrible!!!! Anywho, the party got a little "crunk" and eventually, the strippers showed up. They were requesting some food and weed. *blank stare* WTF-ever! Bitch get yo ass in there, change and bring yo ass out here. We want to see some asses jigglin. The nerve! We didn't even entertain their ghetto asses on that tip. LOL Little did they know they were surrounded by three facets of law enforcement. Police, Corrections and the DA's office. *smh* No clue! Straight up ghetto queens.

I was the gracious host and started off by offering the stripper chics shots of alcohol. They kept requesting some damn Grey Goose. LOL Bitch, I don't know about Grey Goose but we got some, hell, I can't even remember the name of that Vodka the fellas brought up in here. Anyway....."here ya go honey. Drink up!" Oh...best believe that in between giving them shots, I was taking shots myself. My buzz was wearing off I had to "freshen" it up a bit. I couldn't view all that ass in a sober state of mind. No way. In addition to making sure these stripper chics were feeling "nice" I had to make sure those chics weren't pocketing any of my personal belongings. They already had their hands on my KING magazine with Trina on it from last year. Yeah...I have a King magazine. The Illest men's magazine ever! So it says on the cover... What? *shrugs* I too admire a beautiful woman's body. Maybe not for the same reasons men do but I do. Shoot. They had KiToy from Outkast's I like the way you move video in there... When I tell you she has the biggest and most perfect ass I've EVER seen in my life....I tell you no lie. She even gave some tips on how to attain such an ass. I made sure to take notes. Ok...I'm getting away from the subject at hand. Where was I?

Lights dimmed....music blaring....ATL style ofcourse. Meaning, booty shake music all night. *stripper perfume floating through air* What the heck is that shit anyway? I swear, it always smells the same. *shrugs* I think I failed to mention that these stripper chics weren't "lookers" by any means. *sticking finger in mouth* Yick! And they said they strip at Strokers?!? Yeah right. If they do, they must be the straight up "B" list strippers. But I digress... The lead stripper chic had the BIGGEST titties I've seen up close and personal. She made my C cups look like A cups. LOL Training bra status, even! I said, GOT DAMN! Do you see what I see? LOL Ok, so they're doing their thing. The groom's cousin and I are sitting in the cut looking and shaking our heads. It was so funny seeing these men transform from quiet, reserved cats to yelling "Awwww yeah baby! Shake dat azz! Show me dat pussy!*sounds of asses smacking* I was sitting down minding my own business when one of the stripper chics came over to me and asked me if I wanted a dance. *looking around* Do I look like I want a dance?!? LOL I said, "Naw baby. Just take care of him. *points to groom* Ofcourse, he's the one that sent her over to me. But shit. I wasn't giving out naah single. Not naah one. You hear me?

Meanwhile, the groom is getting his own personal lap dance. The stripper chic was all on him...butt.booty.ass.naked.coochie.exposed.like.WHAT?!? He (the groom) called me over so that I could witness up close and personal what he was seeing. As if I couldn't see from where I was. But hey...I went anyway. He was holding her pussy and trying to get me to touch it. I was like, "Uh uh!!" He was like, "C'mon "Brown Sugar", you mean to tell me that you wouldn't fuck wit this? *thinking...looking at pussy....thinking again....* Naw dawg. I wouldn't. See for you to understand why he'd even come at me like that, you'd have to understand our past. This is a guy who basically, for lack of better words, turned my ass out. He was the type of guy that could talk my ass into doing just about anything....sexually. One minute we're sitting around drinking. Next minute, I'm butt.booty.ass.naked with a girl eatting my coochie. That type of thing. No...this is not what happened THIS night. I'm just trying to give you an idea of what type of things we did. Yeah. Dude was off the chain. Shit....I guess in a sense, I wasn't too far off the chain myself. He was the type of guy that brought the freak out of me. Shit. He's the ONLY guy that brought the freak out of me. Thank goodness he's married now! LOL We've done some damage in our days. GOT DAMN! *just thinking*

I asked him earlier in the week what the heck was he going to do once he got married. For one, dude is a straight up ladies man. AND he requires that his woman be open-minded. His wife is NOT open-minded like that. He was a little concerned about that himself. He said he can't convince her to have sex in the car in the middle of the day with the possibility of somebody walking by. He said he has YET to convince her to give him some fire ass head while he's driving his car. But he said he feels like he may be able to loosen her up a bit. After all, he loosened my ass up. However, the difference with me is that I was and still am open-minded. Anyway, he and I are old news. Like, damn 6 -7 years old news. We were just each other's sex toys back then and maybe a few times in between. *smile* Even though I did start catching feelings. But that's another story. LOL That's my dawg now! I have NO feelings for him whatsoever.

Back to the party....
The groom put in a request to the lead stripper chic for some girl on girl action. Now...we can't have no bachelor party without some girl on girl action. Can we? *shaking head from side to side* Nope!

The lead stripper chic demanded more money for doing girl on girl. The groom convinced her that they would be taken care of through tips. Well, she made a musical request. She wanted to hear Lovers and Friends by Lil Jon, Usher and Ludacris. She kept hollering out, "Number 12! Number 12!" Whatever....number 12 it is sweetie. We all gathered around. Well, you know me, I had to get a front row seat. Literally. One stripper girl laid on the floor.
The other stripper girl laid on the floor in front of her...in between her legs. It appears she was waiting for the music to que up before she got to licking! LMAO! I was thinking, "Let the damn show begin bitch!" Here goes...she gets to licking and sucking and licking.... I looked around at all those fools. They're all drooling. LOL One guy is rubbing on the girl who is getting licked, titties. They're coaxing them on. One dude started complaining that she wasn't doing a good job because the girl didn't seem to be phased. Then the "licker" started complaining in between licks, that they weren't tipping. I told her, "Sweetie...don't worry about no damn tips. You'll be taken care of. Just keep on licking that pussy." *looking from side to side* Did I say that? It was wild. Out of nowhere, this big ass KING dingaling vibrator popped up. The girl started inserting the vibrator into the other girl's coochie. Talk about a freak show! I felt like I was witnessing a real live porno! The groom took over and started inserting the King dingaling. Meanwhile, the stripper chic continued to lick. One of the guys started sucking on the other stripper girl's tittie. I guess they were trying to cover all bases. They even tried to get me to suck her other tittie? What?!? In front of all of you?!? Hellous Nous! (Will 2004) Next thing I know, somebody was rubbing on my booty. Nigga if you don't get your nasty hands off my ass.... Apparently, he must have been feeling frisky and thought he was going to get a free feel or an offer to stay the night. Puhleeze! *said incorporated with spit shower* You gets nothing! *looks him up and down and then back at the live porn show* Besides, I didn't know him. He must have me mistaken with somebody else. It ain't THAT easy! You got to put in some work for this pussy! Sheeeeit!

Before the night's end/morning's dawn, I witnessed about four guys go in and out of one of my bedrooms with one stripper. (seperate times) I even walked in on another guy f*cking another one of the strippers. It was a whole lot of f*cking going on. All I know is that I was ready for those mugs to leave. Eventually, they all left. With the exception of the groom. He stayed the night. He took a shower and fell in my bed butt.booty.ass.naked. I took a shower and jumped in the bed after him. We didn't do a damn thing. I didn't want to anyway and he didn't try. I was proud of him. LOL With all that pussy around him, he didn't lay up in any of it. I thought about patting him on his back. But...I didn't want him to think I was trying to get his attention for some last minute before- one -gets- married - dick. I had to be at work in three hours and a wedding in 15 hours. It was going to be a long ass day. As I drifted off to sleep, I remember shaking my head and thinking, "What the hell just happened?