The life & times of Brown Sugar...

This is it. The final chapter and I'm done with the saga. I had some shit on my mind and I needed to vent. If I lost some of ya'll, I do apologize. I'm just using this as an outlet. Now....where was I? Oh yeah....my heart had just been ripped out. *THUD* (heart falling to the floor) Nothing noteworthy really occurred during the next few months besides the same ole' bullshyt. We were just beefing like it wasn't nothing. I felt like I hated him. Well...to be honest with you, I think I really did hate that muhfucka. He even had the nerve to threaten me with some custody mess. Come on now! Was he serious?!? You....a muhfucka who doesn't even have a job or any steady income...even for a minute thinks, better yet, THOUGHT that a judge would grant you custody of a child. Ni**a puhleeze! Anyway, let's fast forward a few months. Let's say....to Memorial Day 2003. I got a phone call from the sinister minister. I was getting ready to go to my co-worker's cookout. The conversation went as follows:
Me: Hello?
Sinister Minister: What's up?
Me: Nothing. (very short...as usual)
Sinister Minister: I have something I need to tell you.
Me: Ok...what's up?
Sinister Minister: I've been wanting to tell you this for a while. I just didn't know how to tell you.
Me: Ok...
Sinister Minister: Well, I'm getting married.
Me: (silence....mouth slightly ajar)
Sinister Minister: Uh..hello? Are you there?
Me: Yeah, I'm here. (pause) I mean...that's cool. Whatever makes you happy. Congratulations and shit. (sarcastic chuckle)
Sinister Minister: Yeah...well....I just wanted to let you know. I'm just trying to be up front and honest with you. We've actually been engaged since February.
Me: (sarcastic) Fine time to be honest. So...who's the lucky girl? (i cared, but didn't care. you know how it is....then i started thinking. Damn. Our son was only three months when they got engaged. This muhfucka....)
Sinister Minister: ______. (the quote unquote friend)
Me: (dead silence)
Sinister Minister: Uh...hello?
Me: *pause* You're full of shit! I mean....if it was somebody else, I wouldn't trip as much. But damn....you're going to marry this bitch who was basically the cause of most of the shit we went through?!? This is the same bitch who you claim you didn't like. This is the same bitch you claim was just a "friend." This is the same bitch who you lied and told I was just a damn one night stand! (i'm yelling into the phone at this point. Oooooh wee!I was fighting mad!) I hate you!!! You's a dirty muhfucka! Just dirty! I hate your ass! You're so damn full of shit!

After all that. I just hung up the phone. He called me back, but I didn't even pick up the phone. I was pissed for the rest of the day. You talk about one angry sistah.... I was ANGRY that day!
Fast forwarding a few months.... This mofo starts pouring his heart out to me. Tellin' me how he can't stop thinking about me. He thought he could get me out of his system and blah, blah, blah. I'm thinking whatever at first. But then....I was vulnerable and eventually started actually entertaining what he was saying. I had gotten to a point where I was able to hold a decent conversation with him without having flashbacks. So it was easy....or so I thought. He'd come over to see our son and end up staying over sometimes. And well....you already know what began to transpire. We got VERY comfortable with one another again. It was easy at first because I was just "getting mine". Shoot....it was convenient and bound to happen anyway. But then, I started catching feelings. Yes...he was still engaged if you're wondering. ANyway, this went on for about seven months. All the way up until he graduated in May 2004. Then it hit me....this mug is getting married. What am I doing? Who am I fooling? If you're wondering why it was just hitting me, it's because his wedding was in June and he was moving down to Florida a couple weeks after his graduation. Well the day came (i'm leaving so much out) when he packed up and left. He met me and our son up at the day care before hitting the road. Well, when he walked to the car, I just bust out crying. I said, "I can't believe you're actually doing this. I can't believe you're going to marry that girl!" Oh....it was sad. *smh*

Anyway, he left that day and I felt like he took my heart with him. He called me everyday up until the day before he got married. He was having doubts but at the same time, was so enthralled at the concept of marriage. Well, the wedding day came. Ofcourse, i was no where near the venue. So don't worry...I didn't crash the party. hee hee Anyway, I felt weird all day long. He called me the day after his wedding. I was thinking..."WTF are you calling me for?!? Shouldn't you be on your honeymoon and shit?" Like I said, I thought it...didn't say it. He claimed he was just calling to check on us. (me and my son). I kept it real short. I got off the phone with him before he sat there with that long awkward silence. He does that alot. He'll sit there, not saying nothing....but wanting to say something. You know how it is. Anyway, I got off the phone with him quick fast in a hurry. He called me the following day. Again....real short, off the phone, quick fast in a hurry. WTF?!? Shouldn't this muhfucka be on a honeymoon or something?!?

Ok...the next day, it was a Tuesday. He called at the damn butt crack of dawn. I wasn't going to work that day because my son was sick. Anyway, he called like he was just "checking on us" as he always says. Then there was that awkward silence. I should have gotten my ass of the phone right then. But I just sat there.... I was sucked in. I was curious as to what he had to say. Here it comes....he said, "I'm going to say something and I don't want you to respond. Just listen.... I feel like I played myself. I can't stop thinking about you. I miss everything about you. I miss your smile, your laughter....your conversation....your sarcastic mouth.....your companionship....everything. I miss everything about you." Need I say that my mouth was wide open? I didn't say shit either. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was in complete disbelief. I can't believe this mug had the audacity to call me and tell me this shit! *smh* He went on and on. I'm not even going to get into everything he said. Finally, I told him that he really felt that way he shouldn't have got married. AND furthermore, if he feels that way he should tell ole girl...his wife...before too much damn time passes by. Oh well.....MOVING ON! That was that. He's been married for almost 5 months now. Still talking that same shit. Whateva ni**a! You ain't going NO.WHERE.

Throughout these past few months I've been doing really good for myself, emotionally. I've moved on and I truly don't feel like I've missed out on anything. Honestly, I feel like this has been a BLESSING in disguise. I've been blessed with a beautiful, beautiful son. There is no love like the love I have for my child. I am forever thankful. Would I do it again, you ask? Eh....sometimes when I think about all I went through, I say, "Hell. No." But...when I look at my son....man, it was worth the pain. So the sinister minister did do one good thing! But it just goes to show that you can't trust and have faith in everybody. Even if they are men/women of the cloth. That damn cloth was soiled like a mug. hee hee Here I am thinking I had a good, God-Fearing, Christian man. But all I had was the damn devil himself. Introducing....the Sinister Minister! Thanks for hearing me out ya'll.

Dear Blog, it's me...Brown Sugar:
(do ya'll remember "Dear God, it's me Margaret?" I must...I must...I must increase my bust! Do movements and all. hee hee That was one of my all time favorite child/teen books! Ahh...the days of the more simpler life)

Oh! Did I fail to mention that in addition to the other concerns I had, we had only known and been dating each other for less than 3 months???? Yeah. *silence*
Why me Lord??? Why is this happening to me? I don't even know this man enough to even consider sharing a child with. ARGH! Ok...ok...it's going to be ok. How did I get to this place in life? I fell victim to the "OooWee Stage."

OooWee Stage (n) A point in a relationship, usually the first three of four months, when everything your newfound love says or does leaves you feeling all mushy, lovey dovey, etc. Basically, everything is all good. No arguements, no drama.... One also tends to overlook RED FLAGS that may appear.

Anyway, we talked and talked and talked. After much trepidation, we both decided to have this baby. Well, to be honest with you, I had already made up my mind to have the baby regardless of what he wanted. I was more concerned about my physical, mental and emotional well-being.
He began to insist that we get married. I wasn't ready. I mean...I WAS NOT ready for any of this. But I damn sure wasn't ready to marry this man I've known all of three months. You might say, well damn...how the heck can you have his baby then? Well remember, he's in school getting his Masters in Theology. He's going to school to be a minister. He wants to have his own church. Anyway, he kept pressing me and pressing me about getting married. He just wanted to go to the Justice of Peace. He was more concerned about what his peers and family would say. Hell...I didn't give a flyin' fuck. I talked it over with my mama and she confirmed my feelings. "Baby, you don't have to get married to him just 'cause you're pregnant." I felt even more relieved after she told me that. My father really wasn't saying much at this time. Don't worry. He had more than a mouth full to say later in this on-going saga. Well sinister minister was upset with me because he felt I wasn't considering his feelings or career plans. I'm thinking, "What the heck are you talking about? I'm the only one who is working a full time job?!? Plus...I ain't the only muhfucka that laid down and made this baby!" (mistake#1....never get with anybody who doesn't have anything to offer) Anyway, the end of the school year came and he was making plans to leave town for an UNPAID internship in New Orleans for the summer. Mind you, he had options to remain here and find his ass a job so that he could save some money. But...that was too much like right. Anyway, he left in May and was gone the ENTIRE summer. Throughout the summer we eventually made plans to get married the following year. We set a date and everything. I called my close girlfriends and the wedding plans were on. We all got fitted for our dresses and everything. This was June 2002. July 2002 he told me via a phone conversation that he wanted to postpone our wedding. Ok...whatever. I had gotten all hyped and shit at this point about the wedding. Needless to say, I was pissed. However, I knew...even at that point that the wedding would never be. Unbeknown to me at the time, it was a blessing in disguise.

Shortly there after, things started going downhill for us. There was this girl who was "just his friend" in the beginning of our relationship. (RED FLAG #1) Hold on....Let me back up to that point. I came across a letter that he wrote to this girl who was just a friend. He was telling her " how much appreciated what she did for him. ANd even though he hadn't met her he still loved her." blah, blah, blah. I confronted him about the letter. He denied everything. He even showed me a picture of her to justify why he didn't like her. Basically....he called her a boogabear. He claimed that they were just friends. Me....believing in him and apparently dumb as hell, took his word for it. Well come to find out, this "friend" really liked him and was upset about him getting me pregnant and blah, blah, blah. He claimed he realized that he couldn't be friends with women that he ministers to and knows likes him. There were other women that I'm not even going to waste my time going into. So he said they stopped talking in May 2002. Ok....here it is August 2002. He mentioned on the sly that he and this "friend" had been having Bible Study via the phone. WHAT.EVER. Ya'll know I wasn't buying that shit. I'm not even going to get into how I went off. Ain't nothing like a mofo who leans on the Bible to get women. That's a whole 'notha story. Anyway, he came back to Atlanta mid August. Shit wasn't the same from the time he got here. We beefed about any and everything. A few weeks after he got back, he told me that his "friend's mother" offered to give him a car. (he had been having trouble with his truck). WTF?!? I threw all kinds of questions at that ass. "Why is her mother offering to give you a car??? What the fuck is up with you and this girl? Is there something you're not telling me? There has to be something more to this relationship that you're not telling me." He had the audacity to get mad at me and tell me that he couldn't believe that I just couldn't see the blessing in all this. I wanted to scream. As a matter of fact, I did scream. I screamed and yelled. I was ready to fight. You know my damn hormones were raging. I was six months pregnant at this point. I needed to calm down. A couple of days later, don't you know this mofo drove down to Florida to pick up that damn car?!? Oh yeah....his "friend" lived in Florida. Anyway, he picked up that car. I told that mofo that I would NEVER get inside that car. I told him that if I went into labor in the middle of the night and he had to come get me, I would NOT get in that car. I'd take a taxi.

Oh...I was pissed. Let me just fast forward a bit. I'm going to skip past all the other mess I went through with the sinister minister. November 20 my OB/GYN admitted me to the hospital. She wanted to induce my labor 'cause my baby boy was showing to be a biggun' already. I wasn't due until December 12. My OB/GYN was concerned that he was going to be too big. Anyway, after going through 18 hours of labor, I gave birth to my son on November 21 at 6:36pm. I had a beautiful baby boy. It was one of the BEST and most REWARDING days of my life. The sinister minister was there as well. Everything seemed perfect. Notice I said, "seemed." This mofo was all cryin and shit. Happy tears, I presume. hee hee Anyway, he stayed overnight with me my second night at the hospital. AT 3AM his phone started ringing. He's a hard sleeper. He didn't hear it ring. I heard the muhfucka though. I looked to see who it was. I'm nosey as hell. hee hee Anyway, I recognized the number. It was the "friend". Don't ask me how I knew. Just know that I knew it was her ass. I got a hold of her number early in the game. I just never called her. She called back three times. Finally, I woke him up and questioned him about their relationship. He swore up and down that wasn't shit up with them. He even asked, "Do you want me to call her and you speak to her?" Well he must have thought I was going to say no. Shiii. That was an opportune moment for me. I had to seize the moment! I said, "Call her ass!" So he called her back and I got on the phone. I said, "______, what is the status of you and _____'s relationship? I mean, do you not know that _____ and I just had a baby?" This bitch proceeded to tell me, "If there wasn't anything between ____ and I, I wouldn't be calling at this time of night. Besides, he told me that you were a ONE NIGHT STAND!" WTF???? OMG!!!! I was floored! I mean....I couldn't believe what I was hearing? So I repeated what she said. "A one night stand?!? I know he didn't tell you that." Mind you, he was standing right there and didn't say shit. I'm looking at this muhfucka like, "Did you really say this?!?" He didn't say NOTHING! I gave him back the phone and kicked his ass out of my room. Man...I cried and cried and cried. I felt humiliated. This was supposed to be one of the happiest times and I felt like my heart had been completely ripped out of my chest. I've been hurt before but damn....this took the cake. Folks say that "Baby Blues" is a muhfucka. Shiii....what I was feeling didn't have anything to do with baby blues.

say cheese.. 

Dear blog:
Once upon a time, there was this girl. Aww hell, it was me. Ok. So I met this guy. It was during a time that I was on a relationship hiatus. I had actually been on a relationship hiatus for let’s see…. two or shree years. I’d like to believe it was by choice. It ain't like I'm a boogabear with no future or options. Not many can resist my pretty brown round, sweet smile and pretty brown eyes. Conceited? No...just convinced. Anyway, I was doing well. You know. Faithful booty call partner here and there. I was cool with it all. Anywho, I was introduced to this guy via a family member to remain nameless. He came into my life at a time when I was all gung ho about getting more spiritually in tune with myself. Basically, January 1 – 30 of every year. We met on some “we’re just going to be friends” tip. I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend and he wasn’t looking for a girlfriend….or so I thought. It started off really good. I was diggin’ him ‘cause he was studying Theology. See, I was on this big spiritual kick so I thought he could help a sistah get focused and what not. I wasn’t looking for no religion. Just some spiritual upliftness, so to speak. He had just recently moved to the A and just wanted to make some friends. Great conversation…good company. I was on this big “everybody comes into your life for a reason” kick too. Shoot….I’m still on that kick. BEEN on that kick. Anyway, I believed that he came into my life to help me get on track…spiritually. We developed a profound relationship. Throughout the weeks of meeting him, I started feeling him. You see, our relationship became more than a teacher/student/friend type of thing We were really feelin’ each other. He even took me to his hometown to meet his family. They were giving his grandmother a birthday party. It was a big shebang. His mother even introduced me as her future daughter in law ya’ll. Man…talk about things moving fast. It was crazy. I mean, it was all good. At least it felt good. Man, I guess we both were feeling good on that trip. Literally! Within a week or so of returning to the A, I was expecting a visit from my Aunt Dot. (see entry "Period Woes..."). I’ll be damned if her ass stood me up! Yes, yes ya’ll. I was knocked up. OMG!!!!!! WTF?!? How’d that happen? I mean, (stuttering….) I KNOW how it happened. But damn…. I was having torn feelings. I was 28…wasn’t getting any younger. But…not married….no plans of getting married. I was contemplating relocating and making a career change at the time. Ooowee….what was my daddy gonna say?!? I was preparing myself for a severe tongue lashing. Do I really want to take that walk to the clinic? I still felt guilty… Was it really worth that emotional and physical pain all over again? Naw man…not at all. What's a girl to do? Decisions....decisions. Stay tuned for part 2. It only gets better....or should I say worse? It depends on which way you're looking at it. *sigh*
nda

Ok....so I'm at this club in ATL (where the playas dwell) chillin' with my girl and her married manfriend. Triflin' I know.... *pondering.....Hmm....notice I referred to ATL being where the playas dwell and I'm kind of helping out with that stereotype since I'm accompanying my girl and her married manfriend to a club and really don't care that they're doin what they're doin. They're not from here though. Does that make it better? hee hee

Anyway, my girl...let's call her, Coco...wanted to go to the bathroom to do a lipstick check and take a piss. So we're walking through the crowd, you know how it is, "Excuse me. Excuse me. Damn! I know this bitch see me trying to get through!! Hey baby....what's your name? Damn...you sho is wearin those pants! Oooh...you got some pretty eyes...blah, blah, blah. Finally! Coco and I make it to the bathroom. Only to be greeted by this little bitty Asian woman at the bathroom counter. Now...I don't know how it is other places, but damn. Why does every club in Atlanta have to have a bathroom monitor? I mean, I got to tip a bitch to damn open the bathroom stall door (cuz that's what she really did ya'll when she saw CoCo going towards the door). Ok...So I'm taking a piss. Just about to reach for the toilet paper to wipe myself and this bitch is standing over the stall with some toilet paper and an extended stick to flush the toilet with. I'm like, "Oh...hell naw!" Ok...so I'm kidding about that. But foreal. I walk out the bathroom stall and I gotta tip her for turning on the damn water faucet and checkin the temperature. I gotta tip her for turning off the water. I gotta tip her for damn handing me a paper towel to dry my hands off with. I mean damn! Talk about going broke at the club! But wait a minute. This is like a One Stop Shop ya'll. She has all the mints, gum, blowpops, laffy taffy, black n' milds, etc. that you need. Summers eve coochie wipes, condoms, tampons, pads....(ooh you know I need one of those. see previous entry). "Excuse me...how much is this? hee hee

**sidenote: Ladies...please take advantage of the coochie wipes. Especially if you know you're gonna hook up with a guy for some hot bucket naked sex after a night of hot sweaty dance routines incorporated with droppin it like it's hotter than a mug all night on the dance floor. don't act like your coochie is all fresh as berries even after all that. take advantage of what's being presented to you ladies. wipe the sweatie coochie upon leaving the club. thank you!**

Ok... This chic even has friggin Nag Champa incense. WTF?!? At a damn club? Picture me dancin in the club, holding a damn incense stick....all while chanting like I'm a Buddhist Priest. Whateva! Back to reality. Ok...so after shopping around the bathroom and making my purchase of incense and pads, we head for the door. Coco goes to throw her .50cent papertowel away only to miss the trashcan. All of a sudden, I hear the Mission Impossible theme music, lights dim and the bathroom monitor comes out of nowhere with these kitchen tongs, dashes to the floor and picks up the paper towel. Mission Accomplished....(fade the music, fade to black....and cut!) Oh my bad! I've somehow reverted back to my Video Production days. Ok...where was I? Oh yeah...she really did come out of no where with those tongs and grab the paper. All that other stuff was going on in my mind. hee hee Oh wait a minute. I know that ain't no damn ATM in the bathroom! Oh hell naw! How the heck did I miss that shit?!? (shaking my head....)

Ok...so we exit the door. (Whew! I'm wiping my head....what a bathroom experience! I thought I'd never make it out there.) Coco and I are making our way through the crowd to her married manfriend. Ofcourse, we have to go through the "excuse me bitches and hey babies" all over again. Before making it to our final destination, this one cat (short guy) grabs my arm and yelling over club music says, "Hey cutie...what's your name? Me: inaudible. short guy: I'ma come find you when I wanna dance. Me: Ok. (thinking....whateva!) We finally make it to the other side of the dance floor. This has got to be the largest dance floor I've seen in a club in a while. Anyway, I'm over there chillin....bobbin my head to the beat like a damn bobble head football figurine. They must have played my jam! Snoop & Pharrell..."Drop it like it's hot!" Just as I start droppin it like it's hot, who but comes up and is ready to dance. The short guy. After a quick ponder... I went ahead and danced with him. After all, this is my jam. Plus, it was too late to stop dancing and be like, I don't wanna dance. He already saw me droppin' it like it was hot. I'm enjoying the music more than him. Plus...bruh can't even handle me cuz I'm droppin it like it's hotter than a mug! Anyway, they changed dj's. It was like an old school night at the club.

Anyway, this dj seguewayed into playing all the Old school jams! Let me tell you, I stayed on that floor for about an hour straight..... I mean, if we were at a house party, I would have toe somebody's rug up! You hear me? I don't know where I got all that energy. I think most of the folks in there that were really feeling it were born circa 1969 - 1975. Yeah...it was cool. I even started enjoying dancing with short guy. I'm not even going to list all the songs the DJ played. Well...really, I couldn't even if I wanted to. But....just to give you an idea. He played a mix of all the New Edition songs going waaaay back to Popcorn Love and Candy Girl. I thought I was going to explode! Dudes were doing the New Edition routines in the club. It was nostalgic....and pure comedy at the same time. I had a good time, needless to say. Anyway, my damn feet were killing me! Plus, I was sweatin like somebody dumped some damn water on me. I'm sure I lost about 10 lbs of water weight. Before leaving the dance floor and escaping dude before asking for my number....he asked me for my damn number. (ok...quick ponder...should i? shouldn't i? ahh hell. give him your cell #) Ok, so we exchanged numbers and I went on 'bout my business.

I was actually ret ta go so I tried to find Coco. I found her married manfriend first. He said she went to the bathroom. (Ahh hell.... I ain't goin back there) I told him to tell her that I was finna go. Shii...I was tired as hell. I can't kick it like I used to. Luckily, I drove myself. I learned to meet friends at the club instead of riding together. Most of the time, somebody is usually ready to go before the other. And since these days, that person is usually me, I drive. Plus, I don't feel like standing at the bar with a damn attitude while my friend gallivants all over the club. I'm not quite the social butterfly that I used to be. Those were years 18 - 26. I'm 30 now. Anyway, I'm heading for the door....and who but the short guy is at the door. He said, "Hey miss lady, I just wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed dancing with you tonight." Me: Oh ok. I enjoyed it as well. Take care! Flashed my dazzling smile and headed out the door.

I got home, took a shower and jumped my ass in the bed. I'm drifting off to sleep when.....my damn cell phone rings. Damn! I knew I should have turned my ringer off. Anyway, I didn't answer the muhfucka cuz it's like 2:30am. Whoever it is, should have known better than to call me at that time. Anyway, I hear the voicemail chime. Being the nosey person that I am. I gets up out of bed to check my voicemail. It's the short guy. He's telling me again...on my voicemail....how much he enjoyed dancing with me and blah, blah, blah. I'm thinking to myself, "oh ok...cool. He enjoyed himself. I did to. Going to sleep now.... " Why does my cell phone ring yet again....at 4 something in the damn morning. Oh....I'm good and pissed. I gets up out of my bed (yes i said gets up) I looked at the phone. Same damn number. Oh. hell. naw. This mug has GOTSTA be out of his friggin mind callin me at 4 something in the damn morning. Needless to say, I didn't answer the phone. This time, I turned my damn ringer off. I finally fell back asleep. Pissed, nonetheless. Ok....it's damn near 11:30am now. Why has that mug called me two more additional times?!? WTF?!? Damn....why did I give this dude my number?!? I should have known better. I didn't want to give him my number in the first place. But....I'm always trying to be nice. I do that a lot. I'll give mugs my number...knowing that I don't have ANY intention of talking to them...EVER. Only to let them continue to call me time after time...leaving message after message....only to never receive a return phone call from me and then finally stop calling. Why do we do that? I mean, really. What since does it make? I mean, I could have just lied and said, "I gotta man." Right? Any suggestions?

I think some of you could learn a little bit from this entry. If nothing else, store it in your mental roladex. One, never go to a club in Atlanta without money. You may not be able to wipe your ass. Two, don't give your number out if you really don't want to. You may endure calls at all times of the day and night from somebody you don't want to talk to. And three....this is for the ladies, even though you take a shower prior to going to club, go 'head....grab those coochie wipes and wipe away the sweat before meeting up with your "hot date." you never know.... This has been a public service announcement brought to you by Brown Shuga Enterprises!!!

Man....is it just me or does my damn period pick and choose to come when it wants to? I mean, there's nothing like a muhfucka who just barges in...unexpectedly and decides to stay a few days...without warning. Especially when the few days include a weekend when your beloved son, who's been working your nerves something serious, is away with the babysitter. Did I mention the ENTIRE weekend? Yeah well...damn. Don't get me wrong. A sistah is glad that The Lady in Red....Aunt Dot...or whatever other pseudo names we women have come up with to refer to our damn period. There have been many of days and nights when I've been eagerly awaiting that bitch. Only to have thoughts of rolling down the stairs or getting accidentally hit with a golf club in my stomach should "she" not arrive. Those were the days prior to the conception of my son. Come to think of it.....there were a few signs that "she" was on her way. I know I said that I didn't have any warnings. But....One, I was irritable as hell early in the week. Two, everything and everybody was getting on my damn nerves. Three, I didn't feel like being bothered. Four, I was horny as hell!!! Wait a minute. All that shit is normal. I guess there weren't any signs. Here I am, on a Saturday night....cramping, head aching and bitchy for no reason. I should have seen it coming. For some reason, I haven't been keeping an accurate PERIOD calendar. I was thinking that my shit was coming at the end of the month. But...the more I think about it. I should be happy because next week is Howard's homecoming. And me...being the person that I am - on the prowl for former, unmarried/married (i don't give a fuck) booty call partners at every HU homecoming that I attend - should be rejoicing that I don't have to worry about what outfit I'm going to wear that doesn't show this big ass Always pad I'm wearing. LOL Some of you might be saying, "Wear a damn tampon." I would...but I'm always scared I'm going to get TSS *toxic shock syndrome* or some shit. Whew! Come to think of it, my girl looked out for me by barging on in here! We were on the same wavelength. Me, her and my pusseta. hee hee Yeah...she knows me very well. She was looking out for my best interests. Actually, the timing wasn't all that bad. I've been phone boning this cat that I went to HU with but never had the opportunity to actually have "intimate contact" with. Other than that one night we laid in the bed together but for some reason, didn't do nothing. No sugar, no nothing. Damn...what was up with that shit? *note: go back in time and reflect on that night. what the fuck were we thinking?!? Anyway! He was contemplating coming to visit me this weekend. Well...as luck should have it, he had something to do and well.... my Aunt Dot decided to pay me a visit. So, was all that phone boning done in vain? Naah...you best believe, all that shit will come to a head....and bust....eventually. Ooooh! I'm getting excited just thinking about it. Yeah right! Who am I kidding?!? I'm not getting excited about shit right now. Other than grabbing my heating pad and laying down on the couch and watching MTV Jams and VH1 Soul. I'm addicted to videos ya'll. The way some chics are addicted to Oprah and Lifetime, I'm addicted to watching videos. Occassionaly...well, I can't lie, most of the time, I get up and do the dance routines along with the video. Even if they don't have dance routines, I'll make up my own. ha ha ha I love videos. I'm actually an aspiring Video Producer. Will it ever happen? Hmm....that's another topic of discussion. Anywho....I guess I'll get my damn panties out of the bunch they're in and look forward to my damn Aunt Dot to vacate the premises!

*sitting here pondering*

Noonee...noonee...noon. Oh hello there people. I say....HELLO THERE PEOPLE! This is my very first blog excerpt. I've often enjoyed reading other folks' blog spots. So...after much trepidation, I've decided to venture out and do the damn thang. Unfortunately, I don't have anything to talk about at this time. Really...I don't want to start off with a long message anyway. Seeing as though, I'm not really sure if I'm doing this correctly. We shall see. So, I'll just make this short and sweet...like me. Hence, my name....brown sugar ya'll! (say it like the Wizard on the Proud Family) Well it's been real. **smooches**