Friday, December 17, 2004
Tis the season n' sh*t.
Here I am again. Yet another lonely holiday season. Damn, it seems like that damn time flew by. Wasn't it just Christmas? Sheesh! Now don't get me wrong. I'm not THAT lonely. However, I do miss having a special somebody to share my Christmas spirit with. I long to Christmas shop for that special somebody, other than myself. Is it just me or does anybody else seem to find more things for themselves when they go Christmas shopping? I got that sh*t bad. I'll be up in the store looking for a gift and I'll walk out of that mug giftless....not bagless. hee hee Oh...best believe, I always find something for me. I'm not just talking about Christmas either. It never fails. Birthday gifts, thank you gifts....etc. Always the same thing. The focus always ends up on me. What does that say about me? *tsk, tsk, tsk* Now don't get me wrong, I do enjoy gift giving. I'm just trying to get away from always supplying myself with gifts as well! Either way, I haven't shopped for NOBODY yet. I'm not in the mood. *sigh* But anyway, I think I got away from my point. Come to think of it, I don't think I made a point. Where the heck am I going with this entry? Damn...sometimes I wish I possessed the creative intellect that my dearheart linesister KK and frat bruh Ted have. Such talent! Thank goodness for W.E.B. DuBois' Talented Tenth concept. Actually, I have to give accolades to all my blogness friends. We are a talented bunch of brothers and sisters. Seriously. Ok...enough of that. Back to my Bah humbugness... I am seriously not in the Christmas spirit. My son is away with the Sinister Minister for a couple of weeks. He'll be back the day after Christmas. So until then, I'm chillin...all alone. I'll probably be sitting around my cold ass apartment singing "What do the lonely do at Christmas?" singing..."What do they do? What do they do?" That song seems to have been my theme song for the past few Christmas seasons. Oh let me backtrack, I do have heat. My apartment just never seems to get warm enough for me. Hence my reference to my "cold apartment." Just in case you were wondering... Anyway, I'm not going to be all that lonely. I'm contemplating going to visit my out-of-town-lover/mynotman(kajuana, 2004) this weekend. Only thing....my damn Aunt Dot is scheduled to arrive this weekend as well. Damn her! But that might not be such a bad thing. The more I've been thinking about it, I feel like I'm putting too much energy into mynotman. I really like him. I know he likes me. We talk quite often. Everyday as a matter of fact. We visit each other whenever we can. Blah, blah, blah...I just don't know. I feel myself wanting....needing a little more than he's willing to give me at this time. I'm not trying to rush into a relationship or anything. I understand he not too long ago got out of a relationship but...I just...I don't know. I'm so confused!! I kind of touched on my feelings early on during a conversation he and I had. Basically, he told me to "relax." WTF? I mean...does asking questions about how he feels and me telling him how I feel make me NOT relaxed? I just want to know where I stand with him? You know? That was about a month ago. I know that I tend to "jump the gun" at times.Especially when it comes to my feelings. Not just in circumstances involving love though. Should I just continue to relax until told to do otherwise? Is there a time limit, better yet "schedule" for letting feelings/love reveal itself? I've never actually been good at the game of love. I'm such an emotional, hopeless romantic. I LOVE being in love. I LOVE to be loved. I LOVE everything about love. But I don't like the "game." I hate the game actually. (sound of gathering spit in my throat) Patooey!! Take that! Yeah...it's that serious. Anyway, I've taken all kinds of twists and turns in this entry. From holiday lonliness to gift giving to notgiftgiving to lackness of Christmas spirit to blogness accolades back to loneliness to mynotman and finally....love. And there you have it.
Comments:
<< Home
Ih my Gently Breeze!! You really need to move back here. That would solve all of your problems--maybe.
FYI--It must be written MynotMan (two cap 'M's and a lowercase 'n', no spaces). Now that we've gotten that out of the way, I have learned that if a man isn't going hard to get me, it's best for me to assume he doesn't want me. If a man tells me some relax type isht, I immediately think, "Eh he doesn't want to be with me. I'm bout to relax the fuggup out of dodge." And when I say he doesn't want to be with me, I mean we aren't on the same relationship page. Because best believe men will "be" with women several times a day but do everything in their power to not BE with the woman. Nikilovely calls it taking the path of least committment.
We are too old to play that game. You're too hot to death to be caught up in his "relax" game. Sheesh!! It's a wonder men and women evuh get together!
FYI--It must be written MynotMan (two cap 'M's and a lowercase 'n', no spaces). Now that we've gotten that out of the way, I have learned that if a man isn't going hard to get me, it's best for me to assume he doesn't want me. If a man tells me some relax type isht, I immediately think, "Eh he doesn't want to be with me. I'm bout to relax the fuggup out of dodge." And when I say he doesn't want to be with me, I mean we aren't on the same relationship page. Because best believe men will "be" with women several times a day but do everything in their power to not BE with the woman. Nikilovely calls it taking the path of least committment.
We are too old to play that game. You're too hot to death to be caught up in his "relax" game. Sheesh!! It's a wonder men and women evuh get together!
Oh...Kajuana! That's why I love you. You tell it like it tis. Funny thing is...I already know what's up. You know? It's like, when you're in the situation, you seem to by pass all the "signs". At least, that's how I am. It's like, I want so bad for it to work but I don't want to play myself at the same time. I don't know girl. I don't want to settle. I know I deserve much more. You're right. I am too "hot to death" hee hee. Oh...excuse me for the mispell of MynotMan. I won't do it again.
# posted by 
: Fri Dec 17, 01:41:00 PM
: Fri Dec 17, 01:41:00 PM
There is nothing wrong with being a romantic. There is nothing wrong with wanting to love and be loved. If he's telling you to relax and you don't want to then find someone you can "jump the gun with." There are men out there who want exactly what you want. Put your time into one of them. I'm not saying this man is not a good man, of course I don't know, but what I am saying is if you sit around and invest your time and effort into someone who doesn't want the same things you'll end up hurt. Good Luck!
Brown Sugar, i have been considered a "mynotman" but i prefer dr. dickemdown! Look at it this way, your "mynotman" respects you enough to at least tell you relax! Alot of "mynotman" aint actually man enough to do such a thing. I recall you saying that he recently got out of a relationship, his signs of hesitation are evidence of that. Life is short, and as a man, I have noticed that women have a hard time being the agressor. If you want it, sheeeet get it girl. But I can tell you this, your "mynotman" respects you, and I can tell. There might just be some things that are awkward for example (see sinister minister) and men just like convenience........that is the answer to it all. If you are convenient to a man eventually something will give. So, I say; dont have any hidden agendas. If you enjoy mynotman's company, RELAX! If he respects you, RELAX! If he puts it down physically dont relax, BE CAREFUL! It can cause you to go crazy, I have experienced making a female crazy. I diagnosed it as acute DMD (Dick Makem' Dumb). In all honesty, all you can do is RELAX!
dr. dickemdown
dreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwww hall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dr. dickemdown
dreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwww hall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
# posted by : Sat Dec 18, 10:11:00 PM
: Sat Dec 18, 10:11:00 PM
I got your "relax" dr. dickemdowndummy! Bwhahahaha! You think you're slick, eh? I know who are you!!
Chica..good luck its hard trying to figure out what dudes are really trying to do and/or say. That's why having things out in the open has been something that I strive for. Listen to your instincts.
# posted by : Sun Dec 19, 03:37:00 PM
: Sun Dec 19, 03:37:00 PM
Whatever a man tells you that is what he means women want to take it and twist it around and if he said something else. Relax that means, it will be months before he jump into anything. He enjoys what you all are doing but that shit gets old as hell. When both parties feel the same about one another it is such a unexplainable feeling that you want to hold on to forever.(shivers going down my spine) I love that feeling. I know how you feel I hate to play the love game. I dont have a man either not even a hook up every now and then. At least you have someone to kick it with when you get bored. Let me rephrase that correctly someone that you are physically attracted to, cause any man can be in your life getting on your nerves.
# posted by : Mon Dec 20, 05:26:00 PM
: Mon Dec 20, 05:26:00 PM
I am a hopeless romantic out looking for some information on romantic beach. Blogger, looks like you have put some work into your site. Well, it is about time I go back to looking for more information. Hey, thanks for the read.
Post a Comment
# posted by : Mon Nov 14, 02:14:00 AM
: Mon Nov 14, 02:14:00 AM << Home
